November Blue

i just re-read whatIposted aboutmy thoughtson my crazy brain in relationships andIhad another revalation (damn,i’mon a roll).

I see parallels betweenthe anxiety and build-up of speedof thoughts andtheimpulsivity and the methodical planning that I experience surroundinganew relationship and the same types of thoughts andbehaviors aroundmoving. As Iread the last post I recalledthe anxiety I felt after C. andIhooked up this weekend.I wound up saying I wanted to sleep on the couch because I couldn’t fall asleep. He tookthecouch instead (chivalry is alive and wellin the South,folks) and I could finally relax and fall asleep. That awfulanxiety. That avoidanceofclose contact of stillness of quiet. It’s likeI’mgoingto explode if I have to sit with my feelings. And so I don’t. I bet ifI rereadsomeof my posts prior to moving I’d hearechoes.